Suicidal
by 2Padfoot00Moony7
Summary: Slash. Pairings inside. My first suicide fic. Don't normally like them but I do like this.


Title: Suicidal. 

Warning: Slash. RemusXSirius.

I do not own Harry Potter and never will (much to my disappointment)

* * *

His legs dangled over the edge of the tower.

One jump was all it would take.

No-one would notice he was gone, his parents would probably be pleased, his family happy and his brother ecstatic.

Maybe he should stick around just to spite them all.

But what was the point?

Yes all the girls wanted him. Yes he had friends. But the one person he loved, didn't love him back.

He knew that.

Earlier on, he had kissed them, earlier on he had waited for a reaction but they had simply ran from the library, leaving their work behind.

One jump was all it would take.

One jump would end it all.

James might miss him but Peter wouldn't and Remus? Well Remus could go screw himself for all he cared.

The teachers might be annoyed as he wouldn't be able to hand in his homework, then again, teachers only ever really cared about homework.

Dumbledore might miss the pranks he helped to pull but Dumbledore would get over it.

Nothing was tying him down, there was no-one to stop him. So why didn't he?

One jump was all it would take.

One jump would end it all.

One jump and the pain would go.

He looked past his feet and to the ground below him.

He was Gryffindor, he could do it, he was brave enough.

He would show his family he wasn't worthless, show his family that he was brave that he wasn't a coward like his father told him.

But he had already shown his father.

Last time, last time they had argued had he not punched his father in the face and then took out his wand?

Had he not crucioed him like he had been so many times before?

Had he not jinxed him with so many boils his face was indiscernible?

Had he not already proved he was not a coward?

One jump was all it would take.

One jump would end it all.

One jump and the pain would go.

One jump and he would forget.

The person he loved did not return his love, they did not love him back, they did not need him like he needed them.

So why stick around?

No-one had come running to find him, his friends would know he was on the tower roof, they had the map.

Still no-one came running.

Why not jump?

His grades were good, he was popular and good looking. But no-one cared about the man beneath the looks.

His family had disowned him.

His friends didn't care.

Why not jump?

He could do it now, no-one would know they wouldn't even care if they found his body on the ground.

One jump was all it would take.

One jump would end it all.

One jump and the pain would go.

One jump and he would forget.

One jump…

He would do it.

Right now.

He was going to jump, stop caring and stop hurting.

He was going to jump.

He took a breath and slowly stood up.

He gazed at the ground beneath him and thinking of amber eyes he leant forward into the wind.

His feet left the roof and he was falling.

Tumbling and turning through the air.

He felt free, free at last.

Free from his family's prejudices.

Free from his friends accusations.

Free from the eyes of the boy he loved.

He yelled with delight and spread out his arms like a bird in the wind.

The ground below him was hurtling closer, soon, soon the pain would go.

But he felt himself slowing down.

Slower.

Slower.

Slower.

Until he stopped completely.

He gazed around him, a mere inch from the ground.

Amber eyes locked into his own grey eyes.

An angry expression.

A drawn back fist.

A punch in the face.

He staggered slightly and fell to the floor, his cheek throbbing.

"How could you! How could you even think of suicide!" Remus' voice was angry and his eyes flecked with silver as his anger grew.

He stood up and faced Remus, he shrugged and said simply. "No-one cares." he watched as Remus' expression turned from anger to annoyance to furious.

"No-one cares?! NO-ONE CARES!?" his voice was shaking and his fists clenched, the shadow of the wolf in his eyes.

"No-one does care Moony!"

"So I just stopped you from killing yourself for the hell of it did I? I could have let you kill yourself but I didn't. I care." Remus was still angry but his voice had softened.

"You didn't care earlier" he mumbled and looked away from the haunting amber eyes.

"You shocked me earlier, I came to find you to say sorry, to tell you that I do care. That I love you." Now the voice was gentle and a small hand was caressing his cheek, he raised his grey eyes and locked them with amber once again.

Their heads moved closer together and their lips met for the second time that day.

* * *

My writing has become quite depressing for some reason. Strange.

Anyway... What you think?

Normally I don't like suicide fics but I like this one.


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